It's a Wonderful Life :)

I know, long time no writey! Life is sooooo busy around here raising a three year old...and my darn internet has been a major issue the last four months or so. The Verizon people finally got their acts together and fixed what ever problem they refused to acknowledge was in existance - giving me a blogging voice once more! (I think my comment of "In all of the help you ARE NOT GIVING ME, Please understand I am not only HORMONAL, but I am still feeling the warm fuzzy security of "The Nations most Reliable Network" I heard on TV the other night"... LOL)

What a wonderful Christmas we have had. My beautiful daughter (Who still hates to have her picture taken...it took 121 shots to get 11 good ones this year. Poor Picture People!) is posed above. Yes, I a blond again :) She loves Santa and gifts, her brothers and Snoopy. As a family gift this year we took all the kids to Knott's Berry Farm. Of course in good old Patterson fashion nothing went as planned. It decided to snow and we barely made it over the ridge. The park was closed the first day due to rain. (It actually snowed in Malibu..One for the record books here in otherwise sunny Ca.) and the first day found us mostly sitting in the hotel room. Later that afternoon we braved pooring rain to take the kids down the road to Downtown Disney and pass the time at Build a Bear and the Logo store. We went the Pirate Dinner Adventure Show where Chris, Bryce and Aidan had somehow become part of the show. The food was great~and we made it to Knott's the next day. It was beautiful and the air was clear and crisp. All mountains around us were a white as could be. Kaydee loved the Subacca (that's my Russian spelling for dog) named Snoopy, was entrigued with the horse carriage ride, and showed us we can travel with her just about anywhere, and she is an absolute Angel! All in as a very good year. We are so blessed!

Kaydee is a well adjusted child, loving and might I add BRILLIANT! She copies all that she sees, never seeming to forget anything. She likes to pretend she is a kitty and paws, meows, and rubs her face on us. So sweet. She loves her brothers, and has grown 2" in 6 months. Can you believe that? Our little Princess has gotten a lot of healthy food and it is showing. And boy does she have long legs!

In other areas, she is doing very well in preschool, and likes to beat up on the poor unsuspecting little boys. No one takes toys from her anymore...wonder why? I tell her that is no way for a Princess to act, but she just smiles and purrrr's her way into my lap. A couple of acknowledging nods and all is forgiven.

Is it even possible year ago I was losing it because the state messed up my Dossier Apostilling??? It all seems so long ago....

I will try to up load other pictures...they are still on my camera.

Love to all!
K~

Kaydee with our best friend G. She loves G and when sitting on a chair climbs abioe his head. He said she is like a cat trying to get to the highest point! LOL

I cannot believe it has been so long since I posted a full thought entry...at the same moment!

Where does time go??? Christmas came and went, spring is in full bloom...and here I sit, typing away to a post saved MONTHS ago...Sheesh! I guess later is better than never. But this does really go to show that once the adoption process is put waaaay behind ya life starts zooming ahead at light speed pace and before you know it the daily blogging of celebrations and frustrations becomes a distant memory. Like child birth you forget the pain, and relish in the new life you have been entrusted with.

And since I have received countless emails requesting updates - and I do read them folks, I've just been overwhelmed - and I knew it was past time to put fingers to the keys and get the job done :)

A year ago I received word that we had a referral...A REFERRAL! I still remember the shock and pure joy I felt. The tears I cried at work with the photo I saw. And could we travel in a few weeks???? Isn't that just CRAZY???? It has been a YEAR! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???? I sit in awe when I think about those moments when God showed He was in control...and answered our prayers for the referral of a healthy and darling little girl!

So here is what I started in October, added to in November, and will finish in March...:)

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Life with Kaydee has been so much fun and the days fly by. I cannot imagine what my life would be like without my beautiful Princess in it. And those who know me personally will agree that Kaydee IS the PRINCESS. And, regardless if what he says her Daddy is thoroughly wrapped around her little finger!

After about the 50th email asking why there we no updates I decided perhaps I’d had better get to cracking on some journal entries so you awesome folks and family out there can be brought up to speed. Going back to work full time has busied my days and I run out of time to do the little thing like update Kaydee’s blog. I promise to make a better effort.

So, since I have A LOT of ground to cover, let’s get to writing, shall we?

Is it truly possible that this time last year I was squeezing extra minutes out of my days chasing down finger prints and paperwork? That I had no daughter to come home to. Tee hee hee....and only a dream of mothering one? Amazing! God has blessed us ten fold and now that I look back I can see where it was all in His plan. But the truth of the matter is Oh how hard it is to just TRUST!

In three short months we have reached so many mile stones. Kaydee’s first day at preschool and first play day. Her first time in the pool, having a cold, a birthday party American style, and riding her bike. Then there are the personal things: The first time she hugged me instead of the other way around. The first initiated pucker and kiss on the mouth. Kaydee running to me with her arms open wide yelling ‘Mommy!” when I come home. Rocking. Holding. Humming. And, my favorite ever; Her running her fingers through my hair, putting her little hands on either side of my face and cupping my cheeks…then whispering in what we fondly refer to as ‘Ruglish” – a nice combination English words and a whole lot of Russian – as if it is sooo very important that I listen. I catch myself longingly looking at her. Remembering our first look at her picture, looking at her and remembering the first time she stood the door of the orphanage holding her care givers hand. Staring at me and never shedding a tear as she sat in the lap of a stranger. It is emotionally overwhelming at times…This child of mine. I love her so very much…

AND, we are growing! Even though she still wears a size 2T, Kaydee has put on 5 lbs and has grown about ¾ of an inch in 3 months. THAT is from some good old American vittles and luvin. She does tend to eat better, but is still just as picky. She still loves to torment the cat, but holds back a little more reserved since our oldest feline friend gave Kaydee a piece of her mind, and paw for that matter. The Dogs remain a favorite fascination, as long as they are behind a fence that is, and trailing behind Daddy is still a top notch time in Kaydee’s daily planner.

Our most recent exploits took us the beach Labor Day weekend. It was cold. It was wet. It was overcast – but with home being over 100 degrees, it was awesome! Any excuse to get away and out of the heat is a good one on my book. Kaydee saw the sand and waves for the first time, although I do believe the moment was pretty lost on her, and way more special for Mom.

Kaydee did okay in the trailer, was easy to watch at play, did VERY good shopping in old downtown San Luis Obispo, and loved to watch movies in the trailer with her brothers when it got too cold outside. She ate popcorn with Aidan, and her bigger Bubby’s threw her back and forth in the air. That silly girl, she so LOVES that stuff and wanted more and more. She’s not afraid of ANYTHING.

Dress up is fun with a little girl. She likes to wear her Bubby’s hats, Mommies shoes, Daddy’s shoes, her ballerina skirt, glasses, and basically anything not nailed down. She takes her clothes off and runs around in her undee’s ~ and at times nothing at all. Any towel is an instant cape, and she holds on to the silliest items for dear life as if they are her treasures – like sting and nails and plastic bottle caps. As I am writing this Kaydee just came around the corner and said ‘Momma’ until I turned around. She has Aidan’s Firefighter hat on. I asked her if she had on Aidan’s hat and of course she said “No. It’s Kaydia’s hat”(She pronounces her name Kay’deea’. She cannot get the EE ending down yet) Too funny…it’s so Kaydee! She has so many bruises on her lower legs we joke and name them. She is a rough and tumble girl in a Princesses body. I just hope the Social Worker realizes it is from play. If you look at Kaydee she bruises! Her skin is turning the prettiest shade of light olive and losing the paleness, but she is not nearly as dark as Carrington - although I really think she will turn darker like Carrington did. I’m quite jealous…

I tell myself I will not forget these moments.

November:

The holidays are so much fun with a little girl. Kaydee loves to shop. She sees a pile of big leaves and gets lost in them. The decorations are for fun. The fireplace is a fascination, as is the frost on the car when she runs her fingers through it. Hot chocolate, warm clothes and 'fingers' hand gloves. Rosey cheeks. Pink polka dotted boots as she follows her daddy out the the fields. A beautiful pink coat reminiscent of the days of old, complete with hand muffs.

Could it possibly be this little Princess is all mine???

February:

A new adventure. We left Kaydee and the boys with our dear friends in Fresno last weekend. More than the loneliness that I felt while driving away from our drop off point, I was worried as Kaydee had a very bad cold and fever. She was in good hands and loved to pieces, but it was still not the normal thing for me to do - leave my child while ill.

The reason for our trip was my companies top performers trip. It is on their timeline - not mine. So when the plane tickets are bought, you go...

This year we were back in New Orleans. We really enjoyed ourselves so much more this time around than the last time we came. We were at the beginning of Mardi Gras, ans there were parades almost every hour on the hour. In one parade I had so many beads my neck ws hurting. We went on a walking tour of the lovely homes in the Garden District, and my highlight was a trip to Oak Alley Plantation. It was the first trip away with my husband that did not involve the stress oif adoption!

I enjoyed jyself immensly, but in the end I was truly ready to go home to my babies.

Unfortunately Kaydee faired only 'okay' while I was gone, and we came home to a VERY unhappy little Princess. She cried nightly for her 'Steffafie' and was hitting in preschool, clinging to my leg, and even hitting her teacher. It became clear quite quickly that we were dealing with some separation issues that I WAS not expecting. I really thought she would be okay...So, we have now figured out she was not ready to be left behind without us - yet. With an adopted post institutionalized child you just don't know what to expect and what exact time line you are running on. So, there goes our 25th anniversary trip :) I will not be leaving her behind for a loooong time. At least not until I am sure she will be okay.

Good news was a week later we did get our lovely little Princess back, and we are back on track.

Here are a few more pictures of our dear little Princess Kaydee. Take care my family and friends

And thank you God for my little blessing…

I am back to work full-time and that means Kaydee is now in Preschool…

*SIGH*

Kaydee started full time preschool on the 18th. How sad I was to leave my little Princess for the entire day, but it had to happen. I feel comfortable with her attachment to us, and the gals there are very sweet, so it seems the right place for her.

Kaydee in front of her class calender board on her first full day of Preshool -

nervous and working that thumb!

John and I had ‘eased’ Kaydee into this transition with a few days here and there at two or more hours or so each time. The first day we just visited. The second we visited again but I left the play area for about 15 minutes and observed Kaydee from behind a window. The third day she stayed for two hours and I picked her up, the fourth the same, but Daddy got her. By Monday we felt she was as ready as she would ever be. The first day was okay, no tears. The second full day though was met with a few more challenges. It’s actually kind of funny the way she goes about making her feelings known, yet still following direction with out arguments. Here is how Kaydee’s drive to preschool progresses…it’s really kinda cute:

First we put in her shoes…’whimper’

Then we put her lunch in her back pack…’whimper’
Then we leave the house…’whimper’ and a VERY slow walk to the car



Kaydee and her backpack slowly making her way to the car...

Open the car door, and a long ‘whimper’, but she gets up in the car any way
We then start driving to school. “Hummm. Hummm.” Those who know Kaydee personally know this is an old habit still lingering of her saying ‘No.’
When I make the left turn to the front street, and then the drive way of her school, I get more “Hummm’s”

Then I say, ”Okay…We are at Kaydee’s school! You like Kaydee’s school!” I take her out of the car, and as I carry her I tell her “Open the gate Kaydee.” She reaches up for the high knob and turns it, opening the metal gate. All the while still saying “Hummm”.

When we go through the doorway, I set her down to sign her in. Again with “Hummm”, Just a bit louder now…

Putting away her backpack

She then takes my hand as we walk to her class and she e-v-e-r so s-l-o-w-l-y puts her back-pack in her cubby, still whimpering and alternately saying “Hummm.”

Then we walk to the back door where the early children are playing. She starts to cry. Not full fledged, but with enough tears to let me know she means business. I makes my tummy hurt to hear her cry, but it is a little cry, not a big ‘temper tantrum cry.’

She tightens her arms around my neck, and hugs me close. I tell her it is all right and Ms. Jennifer will play with her and Daddy will be there soon. Another “Whimper and Hummm.”

She then reluctantly goes to Ms. Jennifer and cries. Once again making my heart hurt. I wave good bye and say “Donstinvonia” (my spelling…”Good bye” in Russian) And I leave the play ground area . I watch her from behind the two way door and she is fine…working the crowd of teachers who just love her to pieces. By the time I am out the door to go to my car I hear no more tears.

Upon a check in call, I can hear her laughing in the background, and Ms. Jennifer says she only cried for a little while and has been playing happily ever since. She was the line leader and Ms. Jennifer’s helper. Much to my surprise she does settle down and take a nap. This we did not expect her to do as she hates to sleep. But given her past experience with lots of little beds and other children napping, I think it is in her normal order of things, so she does it. Not without a little bit of protest before hand, I’ve been told.

When Daddy shows up at the gate there is a happy little girl playing, and she screams (Really, she screams! ) “DADDA!” and is gathered up and taken home to her castle in the country.

When I drive up she sees my car, yells “Mamma!” and we play our little chase and tickle game as soon as I walk in the door. All is well with her world now, and we look at her school work – praising her and telling her “Headashawl!” – (My spelling again - “Very Good!”)

Then we start all over again the next day…sigh…I pray she adjusts quickly to the routine of Preschool and actually enjoys her morning routine to her day to play.

In other areas Kaydee is doing so very well. It is hard to believe she has only been here for almost 7 weeks. She repeats words, dances, sways and sings to Veggie Tales.

Kaydee and her favorite baby Nanny gave her...

She loves her doll baby and makes sure it is on a pillow with the blankie Nana made her. She snuggles with us, still loves to be held, and adores her bigger brothers.

After her bath Kaydee likes the blanket her Nanny made her.

Night time still continues to be a struggle. She cries and kicks and wails at all hours. She always looks like she is trying to kick something off of her legs. It is a real tear jerker to watch our otherwise happy Princess go through what ever it is that is affecting her. We have tried everything we can think of but mainly just making sure nothing is touching her and waiting it out seems to be the only thing that works.

Attachment is so very important with a PI child. Both John and I feel Kaydee is doing very well in that area. She immediately stops and/or comes back when we call her name, even in a crowd. She takes a whole long while to leave our arms or side even with a close friend or family member. And looks for us all the time. Of course the fact that she would rather be with us than daycare is a good thing too. I stay with her in bible class, and although she doesn’t seem to mind another child sitting on my lap, just try and have Daddy do that. “No way, Jose!”

There are so many times during the day when I wish I had my camera ready to catch her fun and special moments forever in time. Like yesterday when she was perched up on the ladder to the pool. Carrington was making water shoot out of his mouth like a fountain, and Kaydee would take her finger and poke his cheek to do so. Then, as their game progressed she started turning Carrington’s head in the direction she wanted the water to shoot. Soon after Carrington decided to turn his head so it shot at her. That girl laughed so hard! It was such fun to sit back and watch the interaction between the two of them.

And then last night she was playing with her two cousins and all three of them were holding hands and turning in a circle. The oldest cousin was singing ‘Ring around the Rosies” and although Kaydee had no idea what it was she was doing, she was having a good old time doing it! After a little successful female bonding she finally decided to share her baby dolls with her cousins. Too cute!

Here is Kaydee dressed as a knight where she sword fought with Carrington and Aidan...

I tell myself to remember these times forever. I have missed out on almost three years of my precious Princess’s life and I feel I have so many emotional holes to fill. Tonight before bed she sat in the rocker in her room, and motioned to me to sit with her. I picked her up and sat with her on my lap. As she held her newest bear friend, we read aloud one of her pop-up books with sounds. Carrington sat next to the chair and as we said the words of the pictures in English, he repeated them in Russian. She laughed in glee each time the noises happened. The three of us had the most wonderful time doing this.

Another moment to remember forever…Thank you God!

Kaydee is THREE!

Kaydee's actual birthday 'day' started out pretty normal. 8/8/08...What a great set if numbers! I woke her up and said "Happy Birthday Princess! It's YOUR day!" Of course she just looked at me :) Her party was not until Sunday, so the rest of the day was pretty normal. I brought her some balloons which were a hit with her. I love the first "OHHHHH!" we receive when she experiences things for the first time. It was obvious she had not seen balloons up close before. She played with them (supervised of course) for hours. When they would not float any longer, they ended up bunched together and she proceeded to kick them all over. (I finally had to pop them this morning because the darn things refused to deflate!) Here she is after a bath still playing with them...

Finally Sunday came and after church we had her actual birthday celebration. I ended up with more guests than I had counted on, but in the end it all worked out okay. Obviously Kaydee didn't know what was going on...but she went with the flow and was the best little Princess ever.

We still worry about the effect of big crowds on her, as she still gets overstimulated easily, but she did okay. (Nanny even taught her to 'fall down' LOL...really a fun thing to do if you 'want' to fall down :) She jumped in the bouncy house, and did pretty good with the other children. She is getting use to my sweeter than ever nieces, although she still doesn't want them to touch her :) First we served hamburgers and hot dogs. Kaydee was more inclined to indulge herself in sliced tomato's, cheese, and a few slices of hot dogs.Here is one of her cakes. There is a long story to them but I won't get into it now :) I had already started cutting into the last one when I remembered I hadn't taken a picture yet...so that explains the slice mark....LOL...I says 'Happy 3rd Birthday Princess Kaydee'. All of her decorations had butterfly's and flowers on them - and the best part is it was all in a clearance bin at the party store for 99 cents each...I so love a party on a budget! AND, it was exactly what I wanted!

Of course next came the cake and the Happy Birthday song. Kaydee had no idea about candles, and as you can gather from this picture was not in the mood to co-operate in the very least. Carrington tried to explain to blow them out, but to no avail. So Aidan did it for her. The Princess hat she liked so much before sits on the chair as she refused to put it on. Bummer!

Then we opened presents. She was gifted with a little of everything, educational toys, dress up shoes, a blanket, clothes, movies and three dolls. Her play time is all set now :)

And then her big brothers brought out their surprise....A new BIKE! She jumped up off my lap and was on it in a flash! She rode it all through the house until we managed to move it outside. She has played on it every day since. This was the present that she seems to love the most.

Brother Chris followed her around the house and protected my walls thank goodness!
The hat and wand didn't go to waste, Carrington - ever the 'family comedian' - decided it fit him fine!
After a tiring day, Princess Kaydee had enough. She fell asleep in my lap at 5 pm. And since this little girl HATES to go to bed, you know she was soooo tired. I had to take this picture...Isn't she a dear? Is it any wonder we are so very much in love with this child so full of life?


So, that was Kaydee's first birthday celebration as an American. I took the time to pray extra long to God and thank him for this special day...the day that belongs to my daughter. It is the day He gave her life, and we will have the honor of celebrating it as a completed family for as long as he will allow us....

Thank you Lord!

And more pictures....

So, history has repeated its self and once again I am having a love/hate relationship with Blogger. Try as I might it seems to take days for me to find a spot in time where my pictures will actually upload and not get cut off. So, FINALLY here are some pictures of our Princess being herself...First, what day would not be complete without the tumbling and tormenting of the bigger Bro Carrington? Kaydee loves nothing more than to ride the shoulders of her brothers, and rough house around with them...

My niece had her birthday party at our home last weekend. Here is Kaydee eating a few bites of cake. And that was pretty much her limit. She really does not like anything too sweet or with flour in it. Her hips will thank her around age 30....LOL!

I just HAD to share the Princess potty picture...Look at that face! Oh yeah, and note she is holding her brothers Nerf gun she stole out of their room. I tell the gal is a female Rambo...

Look who got caught red handed with her brothers Lego's - Again!

Kaydee's favorite chair....this is where she loves to sit and read her books. I couldn't choose between the two pictures, so here are both! What a sweet little Princess! She is getting a little bit better with the camera...it only took about 15 shots to get these two :)


Where were my red shoes??? I found them on one little Princess walking around her room. I pulled down her boa and we had ourselves a fun time with that!

Note the Nerf gun - again....LOL! I have had several touching 'firsts' with Kaydee these last few weeks. While out of the house I called her name in a crowd and she turned - that was a great thing as wanting her to recognize our voices and her name are pretty important. She has shyly snuggled with me, and allowed me the privilege of real kisses. She as started shaking her head yes - one little nod - and saying her brothers names. We have made it through three Sunday school classes (mom sitting next to her, of course) and actually stayed in the nursery during VBS (Carrington was there too to help her) which was a big thing because that was the first time she has been without either mom or dad. She did great!

Kaydee rarely throws herself at men anymore, being a little more reserved and stays close to her mommy or daddy. Daddy is the one man in her life at present. She still prefers Men and will smile and flirt with them, but she knows they are not Daddy. Both John and I feel her bonding is coming along well and attachment seems to be in place. I can't wait to get home from work and see her, and it will be hard returning back full time. Even John is saying he will miss her when he, too, returns to work full time. It will be so tough!

So that's all for now. Birthday party is next...

A Cheerful Queen Bee :)

Adoption costs

I have received several enquiries as to the cost of our adoption due to being in Moscow City. Trust me, what we didn't pay in additional travel to another region was ate up by staying in the most expensive city in the world! For those of you researching adoption, I have outlined our costs in the November 07 section of my blog. Hope it helps you. Feel free to email me if you have any questions...

Has it really been three weeks?

It seems like Kaydee has been here forever. She is such a joy!

Here are some fun pictures that show the true nature of our dear little Princess Kaydee. At one moment she is a girl, loving her bows and frilly socks. The next she is a rough and tumbling tomboy following her Daddy around and playing in the dirt.

She loves the trampoline and spends quite a bit of time there with Daddy and brothers. Note the pretty dress..."Who cares Mommy? I'm having F-U-N!"

Kaydee caught on film in mid air...absolutely no fear!

The Kaydee we first met who had no smile, now does so constantly. She is opening up to other people, realizing they are all okay. She is charming and engaging, making friends easily.

She had her first hair trimming by the fantastic hair guru Martha. Daddy gladly reported she sat there like a little lady and was as good as gold. Isn't she darling?
Here she is with another favorite past times...riding the horses. Can you say "Giddy up?" She can! LOL! Except it comes out more like "Gee ah!"

She runs through the house giggling and loving to be tickled. As a matter of fact, that has become my ritual with her as soon as I walk in the door from work. She runs up and tags me and I have to chase her down...as she giggles away. Sometimes she will hit me with the Spiderman pillow from brothers room and away we go...running all through the house. It was funny when one time Carrington put his hands on his hips and stated "Now SOMEONE is going to get HURT running through the house like that! Take it outside!"

Hmmm, wonder where he got THAT from? LOL! Yeah, I about peed my pants I laughed so hard after that comment :) Hmmmm...I wonder who has been in her brothers room?

I got to talk to V today, giving her a quick report on Kaydee’s progress in our family. It is so hard to put into words how wonderful this child is…But I do try. In the beginning, while V was apologizing for Kaydee being older than what we had originally asked for, and as the roller coaster ride continued its course in Moscow, we were being given the daughter we were suppose to have. She was everything I asked God for: Healthy, engaging, girlie - girlie, loved to be held and rocked...just in a bigger package :)

Kaydee’s 3rd birthday is coming up, and we already made the pilgrimage to the party store for her invites. The theme is princess of course, and her invite was a tiara. Too cute! She has her own Princess hat and wand. Sooooo sweet!

That's all I have time for now!

Till later...

Queen Bee